Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
