At least make sure they are 18
Why
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
