I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
