sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
