he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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