That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
