I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
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