I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She even gives head with a lisp.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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