I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
how drunk are you?
Several
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
