there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Randomize
