I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
