We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
