You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
