There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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