epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
