she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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