well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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