And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
