i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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