Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
