I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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