if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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