thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
