apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
