why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
