you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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