i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
