Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
