i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
