is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The dick lei will go down in squad history
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
