This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
