There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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