ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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