kristin has been a bad kristin
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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