Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
