Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
