But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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