He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
