its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
