So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
