I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
