his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
