This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
