You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
