sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
