I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
