That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
