I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
