"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
