Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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