i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
